Wise words.

Something for Elianna has changed.  It's weighing heavy on me.  It's hard to know what it means, and that is crazy making.  
I struggle with wavering in our decisions about Elianna's care.  It seems like there's always something more or else that I 'should' be doing.  Are my choices giving up on her or allowing her to die, or even speeding up her death? Palliative care has talked to us about considering the path of least regret.  Since all the choices suck, choose the one that you won't regret later when you look back.  One doctor described the journey like walking through a thick forest with a high mountain peak being your destination and to figure out what that mountain peak is, that way it'll guide all the other little decisions along the way while you're in the forest.  That was a helpful picture.  

Another friend shared these wise words:

Ah I see. The topic of how and in what way a person should die is complicated for sure. But in Elianna's case I feel it is simpler. We know the ending here. Better doctor and different treatments won't change that. Your choices are centered around giving her the warmest and easiest passage to the next phase of her existence. You are already doing that. You brought her home, you are caring for her fully, love her and including her. There isn't anything more you need to do, or should feel obliged to do. Both of you have been clear and in agreement about allowing the path to take its natural course, from the beginning. Stick with that.


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