Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Mama guilt
Mama guilt.
This phenomenon has been the absolute most difficult part of everything that is going on. I think it would be there regardless of the circumstances surrounding the addition to our family, and I certainly had it even when I was mama to only one kid. But in this current situation the guilt swallows me up frequently.
If you are of the praying persuasion, this is something you can pray for. I feel torn in half about caring for both my kids, especially because their needs seem so big amidst all this stress.
This is the thing I keep working to release. I am doing my best, that is all I can do. I can not and will not get it right every time. I'm learning that this is how it has to be, that it is ok to not get it right, to struggle with the balance of meeting multiple people's needs. But it should not be something that drowns me in despair. When I mess up or get is wrong, it doesn't mean I don't love my kids, and it doesn't mean they won't know that I love them.
Good bye to mama guilt. The task master I don't need and was not meant to have. I will try each day to look toward God as my example of a parent and recognize that He doesn't want me to live under the weight of this guilt.
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Hi Esther and Michael, Just want you to know I am praying for you - appreciate your updates so I know more that to pray for. May God carry you and give you what you need for each day. It's great to see more pictures of your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteSharon
Esther you are an awesome mom. We may parent differently, but I would trust you in a heartbeat with Mark and when we're with you guys I can see the joy Milena has when she's with you. I can partly understand your guilt as I have often felt guilty for enjoying being at work. However, we can only do so much for so many people and if we spread ourselves too thin we are not giving our best to anyone. You have always kept a good balance in your life and I pray that even the most mundane tasks that have to be done, like feeding the kids, will become an 'activity' to do with them and to enjoy alongside. Just keep swimming...... :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the updates! Thinking of you every day.
ReplyDeleteI am curious to know who this is? Edik should I know you?
ReplyDeleteSorry, it's Ed Friesen!
ReplyDelete