Mark Gungor

This past year, our Lifegroup worked through a series called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage. It has really helped Michael and I learn a few new things that made this last year one that I say has been great. We took the Flag Page Test personality thing, which has been a great tool and helped us to keep laughing despite our differences.
Just yesterday, Michael was building a couple more garden boxes. I came out with some cookies and to check on the progress and noticed that he had put the end on one backwards. He asked me if it was a big deal and if he needed to actually take it apart and fix it. Instead of the usual argument that would ensue, I just told him that in 'perfect country' (which is where I'm from and Michael is not), if the end isn't on correctly then he may as well not even bother building them. Just being able to talk about it this way meant that Michael didn't feel attacked/criticized and that it was really that big a deal to me and that yes, in a year from now I would still notice it. So, he fixed it. No argument, just a couple of giggles about the fact that I'm not from the land of "ungefehr" (german for close enough/approximate, pardon my poor spelling).
Anyway, all that to share a tip I got in an email the other day (again, I can't believe how true these words are, it has had big impact at our house).

BETTER MARRIAGE TIP
	Too many men don’t realize that a quick “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it when they do or say something to hurt their wives. It’s like they drop an atomic bomb and don’t realize that there is a fallout beyond the initial explosion that they will have to keep cleaning up and dealing with. Men, when you hurt your wife and you see she’s still feeling it, don’t you dare turn that around and put it on her. You look at your wife and say, “I see you are still hurting. I understand this is still painful. I realize I did this to you. I’m sorry.” Then shut up! Don’t defend yourself, make excuses or blame her. Every time you see it, you own it. Even if you have to do it 100 times. That’s just the way it is.